They Can't All Be Epic Love Stories!
by kataract52
Summary: Ever wonder what Gambit's OTHER girlfriends think of him? Just a goofy thing I cooked up... Not meant to be taken seriously!


**Disclaimer: **I do not own the X-Men. Duh.

**They Can't All Be Epic Love-Stories!**

"Thanks for the invite, Emma," said Rogue as she dropped the crisp linen napkin onto her lap. "This is _just_ what Ah needed."

"Please don't talk to me like we're friends. I only asked you because Scott and the girls are driving me nuts. I'd _have_ to be out of my mind to wanna see _you_ first thing in the morning."

Rogue smiled into her water and took a glance around the restaurant. She'd never been here – wasn't really the sort to spend this sort of money on breakfast. Despite Emma's insults, she knew the true motivation for this rare trip out together. One, Emma truly was getting frustrated with Scott. She wasn't the sort of woman to get her fulfillment from one man – intellectually or physically – and while Rogue used to look down her nose at that, she was beginning to see the honesty of it. Was it _wrong_ to ask for what one actually needed? But there was another reason besides her restlessness. No doubt, Emma had noticed Rogue's isolation from the team. Again, there was a time when being excluded would have bothered Rogue, but not anymore. She and Remy had broken up, and she'd been through this song and dance often enough to know the change effected the whole team. They would take some time to evaluate the friction between the ex-lovers, and once they saw there had been no betrayal, no hateful words exchanged, they would settle into friendships again. It was highly unusual. Indeed, Rogue could hardly believe it herself, but they parted on good terms: with respect and compassion.

Always the initiator and delegator, Scott had certainly recruited Emma to push Rogue back into team-work mode. For once, Rogue didn't really _care_ what the team thought of her. They'd always be there when she needed them. Did they really need to be _friends_, too? Maybe they could try a level of _professionalism_ for once. Was that a _completely_ insane notion?

During her silent praise of the restaurant, Rogue caught a glimpse of three women in designer heels, handbags, and over-sized sunglasses stumble through the door. She quietly caught Emma's attention and threw it their way. Then she muttered, "_That_ more your style? Ah think they're missing their Samantha, anyway…"

Emma tried not to smile and failed. "Screw you. And while we're on it, _please_ don't bother me with details of your so-called love life. You've always bored me to tears with it."

"Ah won't tell you how long Ah waited if you won't tell me why they call Scott the hooded bandit."

Emma instinctively opened her mouth with a defense poised on her tongue, caught herself, and smiled easily before returning to review the menu.

To Rogue's horror, the three tramps were soon flagged down by a very pretty man at the table beside Emma and herself. She tried to hide behind her menu, afraid the man would relay the petty conversation to the subjects, but the foursome didn't pay the least bit of attention to anyone else.

"About time you bitches got here," he snapped.

"Shut up, Eric. Think it's gonna kill you to miss a meal?" One of the blondes said.

"Yeah, don't be such a bitch," the other blonde added.

Eric gave her a long, hateful look. "Do us a favor, Dyl… It's called an _original comeback_, and it makes us _all_ look better."

Emma laughed silently and leaned towards the table, clearly more interested in their banter than anything Rogue might have to say. Unfortunately for her, the waiter returned for their orders, which Emma spat out.

"The egg whites and fruit. Fresh fruit _only_, please. I'm not paying eight dollars for three slices of a rotten apple."

"Y-yes, m'am."

"And Ah'll have the eggs benedict with bacon. And sausage. Thanks."

"Must be nice to not care about your figure," Emma said, practically throwing her menu at the poor man in a white apron.

"One of the rare benefits of bein' single," Rogue shrugged.

Once more, their voices were lost in a sea of sharp laughter as pretty Eric made his only brunette companion wear her sunglasses indoors.

"I had a late night," she said defensively.

"_Clearly!_ Did he give you a receipt? 'Cause it looks like he ran you like a pair of three dollar shoes!"

She waited for the blondes' laughter to subside before saying, "It was _work_ related!"

"So you got a promotion?" One of the blonde women asked and again, the group fell into hysterics.

Rogue couldn't help but shake her head. "Most gals our age are doin' shots and lookin' for Mr. Right… We're _takin'_ shots and tryin' ta _do_ right."

But Emma shook her head. "That's what your twenties are for."

Rogue saw no point in wallowing in sexual depravity and drunkenness – and it seemed especially unworthy of an entire _decade!_ As if to convince her otherwise, the brunette elaborated.

"I was out with my Tokyo clients, doing sake shots! And all the sudden – in he walks. Tall, dark, handsome… And he smiled at me right away. I smiled back because I didn't want to be _rude_-"

"And because you're a loving drunk," the stupid blond countered. "Where was your designated driver?"

"Hush up," said the other blonde. "The married folks here haven't gotten laid in a _month_, and I desperately need a new fantasy to masturbate to… Continue."

"_No!_ Our dear, sweet, level-headed Kailin would _never_ go home with a complete strange who picked her up at the _bar!..._ Kai, you _didn't!"_

"He was so sweet… Offered to call me."

"Don't skip all the best parts!" the man encouraged.

"Okay, so he called a cab, and we got a hotel room. Not too far from the bar, but it was nice. You know, a _classy_ place," she added defensively. "Now, I'd been drinking all night, and I didn't really know this guy… So I excused myself for a quick sec to shower, and who should join me? He grabbed me in the shower and on the bathroom floor and on the dresser-"

"Damn, honey! How are you _walking?"_

She held up a finger to stall comments. "And on the bed and against the wall."

Amid the whistles, giggles and sighs, one woman had the presence of mind to protest. "Babe, I'm all for a li'l somethin'-somethin', but _anything_ could've happened to you! He could've been a rapist or a murderer. At the very least, he's probably _married!_"

"I hate to side with straight-laced Sally here, but she's got a point," the other blond said quietly. "We just want you to be happy and _safe_. I doubt you were safe four or five times, and you _certainly_ weren't safe going off with a man you'd never met before!"

The group lowered their voices until they blended in with the other patrons, and Rogue felt confident the sudden burst of silliness had past. At least they had the presence of mind to recognize a dangerous behavior, and they cared enough to criticize and listen to each other. At first glance, she'd thought them shallow and aloof, but when presented with a challenge, they responded maturely. This little observation left Rogue feeling content with the world. Maybe things weren't as bad as they always appeared.

Bored, Emma asked, "So how're the kids?"

"Ah wouldn't know, your boyfriend fired me from that position _months_ ago. Remember?"

Behind them, the brunette Kailin was softly defending herself. "Okay, so he wasn't a _complete_ stranger! He was… Remember a few weeks ago, some of the X-Men helped Spider-Man rescue those kids from the sewer?... He was one of them! The tall one with the gruff…"

"And those _eyes?"_ a blond gasped.

Rogue dropped her fork.

"Oh. My. God." Gaped the man. "Have you ever seen a pair of eyes more intense?"

Emma lifted one perfectly arched brow irritably, as if she were suddenly oblivious to the conversation behind them.

"You know what they call women who sleep with him? Gambit groupies!" the other blond fussed. "That's what you are! You're a _Gambit groupie!_ You are a _smart, successful, sophisticated_ woman, Kailin! How could you reduce yourself to being just another notch in his bedpost?"

"I dunno," she smiled and shrugged. "Days like these, we could _all_ use a few more notches!"

Four Bloody Mary's came together in joyous agreement.

Rogue felt ill. Any moment now, she'd throw up all over Emma's pristine dress, and she didn't feel too sympathetic over it. Blessedly, the conversation turned, and the bile settled, but Rogue considered leaving for the sake of her self-respect. Emma, who'd obviously been reading her thoughts, sent a telepathic message.

'_If you're trying to save your __**dignity**__, stay put!'_

Rogue swallowed her pride, but it left no room for breakfast.

Shortly after, the noisy table stood to depart and left each other with kisses just outside the door. They were busy, busy people with people to do and things to see. But before they split up, the man held Kailin and whispered, "Four o'clock… D'you know her?"

She glanced over her shoulder and shook her head. "No… Why?"

"Honey, if looks could kill, you'd be dust."

She shrugged and said merrily, "Oh, well. Envy makes you ugly!"

.::.

**Author's Notes:** I've always hated Rogue-bashing stories, but it's so hard NOT to do these days… I wrote this to make myself feel better, obviously, but ended up understanding Rogue's new, more-conservative personality better. I think that makes it worth posting. Plus – so much angst with them these days. Where's the energy and humor in Marvel anymore? Thanks for the read; please leave a review!


End file.
